Illiteracy Alert!

There seems to be an epidemic of illiteracy among college students! If you are aware of this problem, please write to your local authorities informing them of this tragedy. While illiteracy is known to be a problem among the impoverished and isolated communities of the world, the shocking truth is that there is a problem right here in the American Empire! On one campus in particular, the epidemic seems to be wildly out of control, with new cases appearing with every field study. This particular university - which is not one of those 'lowly public universities' that are commonly dismissed as rife with problems - has frequent outbreaks of illiteracy. Shockingly, one of the most popular locations for an outbreak is right outside the library! Clearly, these poor sufferers try to make the pilgrimage to the Temple of Learning that is the campus library, but the disease consumes them shortly before their salvation.

There is one sure indicator of CASID as the disease has come to be known (CAmpus Student Illiteracy Disease), which is an abundance of students smoking cigarettes right next to colorful signs with bold, capitalized announcements that the campus is "SMOKE FREE". Be warned, however, that staff and faculty members are not immune from this disease, and can often be found next to the student carriers. Please help spread awareness before these students graduate, leaving the semi-quarantine of campus and spreading this disease into our schools, hospitals, and Heaven forbid our Government.