Ten Reasons...

I don't paint my nails anymore:

10. I don't have time
9. When I do, I have better things to do
8. I really don't know what color goes on a person my age. I'm past the purple glitter, but not at the 'sand' color age yet.
7. No matter when I went to the bathroom last, I'll need to go again as soon as the last coat is on.
6. Broken nail = ugly, broken nail with splintered polish = gross and tacky.
5. I've never done a 'perfect' manicure - there are always bubbles, random 7-layer coats, and smudges because...
4. I'm severely lacking in patience and the grace to avoid walls/furniture/random stuff that I didn't know was there until my nails were wet.
3. I think all my stuff is over 5 years old... ew.
2. So people who look at them can tell they're real without asking or doubting. (I work hard to keep them!)

and the number one reason is...
1. When else do you get to say "Yeah, they're real. Look!" in public and not get arrested?!?