Where's a Dictionary When You Need One?

Actual conversation today:

Me: "Would you like chips or a drink today?"
Customer: "Is there an alternative to chips?"
Me: "Well, we have cookies you can substitute for chips in the combo meal."
Customer: "That's not an alternative to chips."
Me: [silence]
Customer: "I'll just have a drink"
Me: "Ok."

Thumper said that if you can't say something nice, don't say nuthin' at all. Hence the silence. Sometimes I wish I had a dictionary behind the cash register...

al·ter·na·tive

[awl-tur-nuh-tiv]

noun

1.

a choice limited to one of two or more possibilities, as of things, propositions, or courses of action, the selection of which precludes any other possibility: You have the alternative of riding or walking.

2.

one of the things, propositions, or courses of action that can be chosen: The alternative to riding is walking.

3.

a possible or remaining course or choice: There was no alternative but to walk.

adjective

4.

affording a choice of two or more things, propositions, or courses of action.

5.

(of two things, propositions, or courses) mutually exclusive so that if one is chosen the other must be rejected: The alternative possibilities are neutrality and war.

(Selected passages from the definitions available at dictionary.com) 

(Yes, I've been brainwashed to cite everything. Thanks, college.)