Potty Pals

 

Recently I took an exam which lasted several hours. Fortunately, there was no limit on bathroom breaks, food breaks, etc., as long as you knew you only had so much time to finish the test. I had just gone to put more money in my parking meter (I had misjudged the length of the test) when I decided that on the way back I would use the facilities I was used to since I didn't know where the ones on the second floor, where the exam was taking place, were.

There are two doors going into the bathroom, so when I opened the first door I was surprised to see a woman holding the inner door open. I then realized that she had two young children with her and, upon understanding, thought that it was fine and I would use the bathroom anyway. When I went into the stall and sat down, I realized this might not be the best idea. Here's why: 

Kid 1: "Mommy, are you going potty?"

Mom: "No, sweetie, I'm still here."

Kid 1: "Then who's that with the black shoes?"

Mom: (After pausing to carefully consider how to answer without causing more curiosity that could lead to a peep show) "That's someone else who needs to go potty, so we need to hurry up in case anyone else needs to, ok? Are you almost done?"

Me: (thinking) 'Good job, Mom, respond and redirect!'

Kid 1: "I'm almost done!"

Kid 2: "I'm almost done too!"

Mom: "Good! Don't forget to wipe!"

Kid 2: "I'll wipe myself!"

Kid 1: "I'll wipe myself too!"

Mom: "That's a good idea. Remember, don't use too much."

Kid 1: "I used too much!"
Kid 2: "I used too much too!"

*flush* from stall of Kid 1

Mom: "Don't forget to flush."

*flush* from stall of Kid 2 - I quickly do my business during the flushing to avoid more questions about the "person with the black shoes"

Kid 2: "MOM!!! Why you lock me? Why you lock me???"

Mom: (trying not to laugh) "I didn't lock you in - push."

Kid 2: "Ok!"

*hand-washing begins, Kid 1 washes up successfully*

Kid 2: "It's burning me, it's burning me!"

Mom: "Well, use this one then. *pause* Ok, let's go find your friends."

*exit family stage... well, the only door.*

I was trying so hard not to laugh, especially during the "Why you lock me?" episode. Poor traumatized kid probably thought he was going to be left behind! (They were both little boys - they looked to be about 2-3 years old, 4 at the oldest, so relatively newly potty-trained. Kids are hilarious, but I'll probably try to avoid being in the bathroom with one for a while...